4 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life – Easter Themed!

Just in time for an Easter romp, here’s some Easter-themed tips for pump things up in the boudoir!

1. “The Egg Hunt”

Remember when your parents would hide chocolate eggs all around the house or yard, and you’d be running all over the place trying to find them? Why not try that with sexual intercourse? Have your partner hide somewhere in the house or yard, and go chase him/her with your “basket” (in this case, basket refers to your genitals).

2. “The Res-erection”

Maybe you or your fella is having trouble keeping “up” with the festivities.  The res-erection keeps things festive while “raising spirits”.  Simply wait until Easter Sunday, then pop one of those blue pills.  When everything starts kicking in, proudly proclaim, “He hath risen!”

3. Passover 

Jesus not your thing? Try this maneuver.  It’s a little complicated, so stay with me…

Have your partner be your “slave” for decades, and subject them to “backbreaking labour” and “unbearable horrors”.  Then have your buddy Moses send numerous warnings to the “Pharoah” (your) about ten potential “steamy” plagues that could be unleashed on the household.

Next, when the clock strikes midnight, have a third party kill your firstborn child.  Unleash some locusts and frogs, spread some disease onto your pets, and replace your running water with blood.

After all of this sexy foreplay, have your partner leave the bedroom and walk the other way of your house for days.

Required items: murder weapons, locusts, frogs, strands of disease, buckets of blood

4. “Hop”

Just check out the 2011 animated film directed by Tim Hill.  Almost as good as Like Mike!

Hop poster

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